Episode 7: Show Notes
Today, we hear a story of love, loss, and hope from Kenzie Pavek, a mom, wife, and realtor from just outside of Fargo. In this episode, Kenzie speaks candidly and vulnerably about losing her son, Rhett, at 25 weeks pregnant and provides a vulnerable account of the days that followed, from her final goodbyes to living through what she describes as the ‘ugly waves’ of grief. She also shares her encouragement and advice for other parents experiencing loss, emphasizing the importance of finding joy where you can, advocating for yourself, and being kind to others. Tune in today for a poignant reminder that, although grief is ugly and it comes in seemingly insurmountable waves, you can make it through if you have hope for the joy in tomorrow!
Key Points From This Episode:
- An introduction to Kenzie Pavek, mom, wife, and realtor.
- She shares the story of her first pregnancy with Rhett, who she lost at 25 weeks.
- Kenzie speaks candidly about her experience of delivering Rhett as a stillborn.
- The significance of the photographs they took with Rhett after he was born and the molds they made of his hands, feet, and face.
- A vulnerable account of Kenzie’s final goodbyes and going home without her baby.
- When Kenzie and her husband decided on Rhett’s name and why they chose it.
- The ‘ugly waves’ of grief that followed and Kenzie’s encouragement for other parents going through them; you can make it through.
- How finding a community of other moms who had experienced loss gave Kenzie hope.
- How Kenzie discovered that grief and joy are able to coexist.
- Some of the ways that Kenzie has felt Rhett’s presence since he passed.
- How she and her husband have introduced Rhett to their twins, Burke and Hoyt.
- Kenzie emphasizes the importance of finding joy wherever you can.
- Her advice for future parents: advocate for yourself (and watch This is Us!)
- How finding reasons to keep living and finding the joy in tomorrow has been healing for her.
- A reminder that we never know what someone is going through!
“Everybody has a normal pregnancy. At the time, there were only a handful of people that I knew that had experienced child loss, and it was nobody close to me. That happens in movies. That doesn’t happen to me.” — Kenzie Pavek [0:06:40]
“As soon as we found out we were having a boy — you plan your whole future. It’s not just that you lost this baby, you also lose X amount of years that you’re supposed to have with them.” — Kenzie Pavek [0:21:05]
“Grief is ugly and it comes in waves; being in the quiet and feeling like everybody’s lives are going on and you’re just stuck. You don’t see the joy in today and the joy in tomorrow. Those days are hard, but you can make it through.” — Kenzie Pavek [0:24:33]
“[Loss] is often a subject that people will try to avoid because they’re scared to say something [that will] hurt you, but really just being there is amazing. We have a really good support group.” — Kenzie Pavek [0:36:01]
“Time does help, and it does heal. But you’ll never be the person you were before your loss.” — Kenzie Pavek [0:40:55]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: