Why You Should Never Compare Loss with Lisa Thornberg
Episode 15: Show Notes
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and with it comes a stark reminder of the statistics that families face every time they fall pregnant. Out of all pregnancies, one in four is predicted to end in miscarriage, while a further one in 160 pregnancies will tragically end with a stillborn baby. No one plans to be a part of this statistic, but loss happens all around us, whether we are aware of it or not. For Lisa Thornberg, becoming a part of both of these statistics was a terrible shock, and she has been on a journey of grief, loss, and healing ever since. In today’s episode, Lisa generously shares what her experiences have meant for her and her family, as well as what has helped her process the loss of two babies. We discuss what it’s like to fall pregnant after the loss of your baby, why you should never compare different types of loss, and how writing and sharing on social media have helped Lisa process her experiences. She also reflects on how the shape of her grief has changed over the years, the support she has received from her husband throughout, and the joy and relief she felt after giving birth to her happy and healthy daughter, Rayza. We hope you’ll join us for our compassionate conversation with Lisa Thornberg on grief, loss, connection, and healing. Today’s episode discusses miscarriage, pregnancy, as well as infant and child loss. So, as always, please listen with care.
Key Points From This Episode:
- Introducing today’s guest, Lisa Thornberg.
- Trigger Warning for listeners who wish to avoid Lisa’s account of the news that she had lost her baby, Micah, after 40 weeks of pregnancy. [00:02:13] – [00:06:00]
- When miscarriage and infant loss are experienced by different generations in your family.
- Trigger Warning for listeners who wish to avoid Lisa’s account of her stillbirth. [00:06:00] – [00:10:20]
- What it meant to Lisa to be unable to find closure after the loss of her baby.
- How this affected her and her husband’s hopes and fears about future pregnancies.
- The empathy and support that the medical staff showed Lisa during her loss.
- How Miles for Micah helps women who have experienced child loss feel less alone.
- Trigger Warning for listeners who wish to avoid Lisa’s account of miscarriage during her second pregnancy. [00:15:22] – [00:17:48]
- Lisa’s third pregnancy and why having a doppler was so helpful.
- The joy and relief that Lisa felt after the birth of her daughter, Rayza.
- What the grieving process for Lisa’s husband has been like.
- How Lisa’s husband has supported her through six years of grief and loss.
- Why there’s no point in comparing different experiences of loss.
- How Lisa processed the loss of Micah and what she has gained from sharing online.
- The gratitude Lisa feels to be a resource to other moms who have experienced miscarriage.
“To not have answers; it was not only hard to not have closure, but what does this mean for future kids? It’s terrifying.” — Lisa Thornberg [0:10:40]
“My husband was a huge support throughout the last five, six years, of all the grief I’ve been going through. He is very selfless and follows my lead on every feeling I have.” — Lisa Thornberg [0:27:59]
“The process of grief, and life after grief, is so much easier and better when you know you have someone on your team.” — Lisa Thornberg [0:30:41]
“You lose so much, but the way that you grieve and the way that you honor your child is yours.” — Lisa Thornberg [0:43:49]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: