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Episode 12: Show Notes.

Welcome back to Haven the Podcast! This podcast discusses themes of miscarriage, pregnancy, infant, and child loss, so please listen with care. Joining us in conversation today is a friend and fellow loss mom, Dani Anderson. Join us as Dani tells her story of loss and remembrance, sharing her thoughts on facing everyday life after loss, how time can hurt and heal, and how helping other people navigate loss can be meaningful. Having had twins after experiencing loss at the birth of her third son, Ellis, Dani shares the story of how her family remembers the son that never joined their family, and how she experiences joy and grief within her growing family. Thank you for joining us as we explore the complicated landscape of navigating loss.

Key Points from This Episode:

  • An introduction to today’s guest, friend, and fellow loss mom, Dani Anderson.
  • Dani’s story of having five children, and the story of losing her third child, Ellis, at birth.
  • The experience of introducing her sons to their brother when he was born.
  • How they celebrate Ellis’s birthday each year through the garden they have planted.
  • The grieving process and the struggles of facing everyday life after the loss.
  • How, instead of healing, time can hurt.
  • How helping other women to heal has helped her to find meaning in loss.
  • Shifting expectations from others as the years pass.
  • Why it is impossible to schedule in grief and how relinquishing control can help.
  • The feeling of a grief hangover that Dani experiences after Ellis’s birthday each year.
  • What it was like to have twin girls after losing Ellis.
  • The balancing act between joy and grief.
  • How the girls have brought healing, although they will never replace Ellis.


“It says a lot when you can, as a family talk about your son or their brother that isn’t there physically, but is still a huge part of your family and always will be. That’s been really important for our family.” — Dani Anderson [0:20:01]

“That’s still my son and that’s still their brother, and he’s still a huge part of us.” — Dani Anderson [0:21:07]

“We’re stuck in this reality of loss and grief that you wouldn’t wish on anybody, and you’re just supposed to go back to your regularly scheduled programming.” — Dani Anderson [0:26:49]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: