How Loss and Grief Changes Your Perspective, with Jeremy.
Episode 01: Show Notes.
Some people shy away from conversations about loss. This podcast has been created to share the stories of people who are working through their grief and it is our hope that it will help listeners work through some of their own feelings without having to engage in direct conversation. Please note that this podcast carries a trigger warning as we’ll be discussing miscarriage, pregnancy, and infant and child loss, so please listen with care. In today’s episode, we are joined by Jeremy. He and his wife Corey have five kids of which one is in heaven. Jeremy opens up and shares what it was like for his family to experience the loss of their fifth child Willow. Jeremy explains the helplessness that he experienced and how he felt that he had failed in his fatherly role to protect and provide. Tuning in you’ll hear about some of the biggest perspective changes Jeremy experienced in the grieving process. We also discuss the true value of active listening, the healing Jeremy found in nature, why he wishes he had opened up more, and how he chose to honor Willow’s life with a tattoo. To hear about the two things that people did for Jeremy shortly after his daughter’s passing that he considered to be the most helpful, as well as Jeremy’s advice to other dads in the early stages of grief, tune in today!
Key Points From This Episode:
- An introduction to Jeremy, his family, and his involvement in the community.
- TW: The story of what it was like to experience the loss of his fifth child Willow. (For listeners who wish to avoid this, please skip audio between [00:02:26] and [00:10:04])
- TW: What Jeremy was doing while his wife was delivering their stillborn child.
- What it was like for Jeremy to process his grief and come to terms with why he was grieving.
- How Jeremy felt that he had failed to protect and provide.
- Some of the biggest perspective changes Jeremy experienced in the grieving process.
- How he honored Willow with a tattoo.
- Thoughts on the confusing nature of grief.
- Jeremy’s advice to his former self or another dad in the early stages of grief.
- The concept that ‘listening is doing’ and the true value of active listening.
- Two things that people did for Jeremy that he considered to be helpful.
- How Jeremy benefited from not necessarily talking but just doing activities with other people.
- The healing characteristics of being out in nature.
- Jeremy’s regrets on how he has navigated his journey since the passing of Willow: not opening up as much as he should.
- Support that Jeremy would like to see for other lost dads.
“There’s a reality that a mom who loses a child is going to feel it so much greater. I think there’s like a greater heaviness that goes into it because there’s not just an emotional loss or a loss of a relationship, there’s a physical separation that happens.” — Jeremy [0:09:01]
“If there was something I would change, it would be that if I’m frustrated or angry or upset, however my grief is showing itself, I don’t have to have it all figured out. I don’t have to have everything figured out to be able to lay out, ‘here’s everything I’m experiencing and this is exactly why.’” — Jeremy [0:21:10]
“Listening is doing. That act of listening and being present, sometimes that’s all that’s needed. For both people involved.” — Jeremy [0:23:38]
“It’s not like I’m doing those things to forget or not think about it. But doing something that’s kind of not only physical but just sort of routine, keeps my body busy so I can process little bits at a time, instead of just sitting and then it’s overwhelming.” — Jeremy [0:27:29]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: